Our matriarchs had an interesting advantage over today’s western women. Matriarchs didn’t begin their marriage with love. Instead, they were taught how to love. They entered marriage with an earnest determination to grow a love that would sustain their marriage for a lifetime.Michael Ben Zehabe
Indeed, the yesteryear philosophy of living through and expounding on daily life relationships was another story if truth be told. It never was a smooth, easy ride. In fact, there was a lot of effort involved, from both ends because, hey when has it ever been easy to develop chemistry and rapport with someone who is not acquainted with you.
Technically speaking, Indian value systems have always encouraged and advocated arranged marriages over love. In fact, statistically speaking 93% of marriages in India account for arranged, with the couple getting to know each other and acquainted with them after they tie the nuptials. Call it societal beliefs or parental discretion, arranged marriages are the practice followed here in our country. In fact, what is funny is the fact that love marriages, which account for only about 7 to 10% of the total are actually the ones which are more publicized, be it movies, books or any other place. Bhai human books hi le lo, they also almost always speak of love and love marriages. Somehow, not many writers seem to be exploring this engrained system of pour society which is actually one of the most followed ones. Nevertheless, Author Venuka Goyal, through her books, her writing, has managed to not only shed light on this one but explored the dynamics of this relationship realistically. To put across something beautifully, whilst keeping the current realistic scenario in mind is tricky, yet Venuka has done so and how!!
Waise books ki baat karein toh I recently read her books, who according to me has caught on to this subject beautifully. Arranged marriages form the core crux of the plots in all 3 of her titles namely – Why Not, On The Bright Side and her latest You Are Stuck With Me for life explore the dynamics of this interpersonal relationship in a modern yet logical and relatable way. Through her stories, Venuka here has very diligently pointed out that whether it be pre or post an arranged marriage, a couple can truly achieve supreme compatibility and mutual love and understanding through choosing to be their true self to each other, stripping away of any inhibitions they might choose to harbor for the other. She also explores the individualistic point of view of modern-day couples who are not very keen on being tied down but want to give it a try. Indeed, life is all about playing the roulette, ain’t it? Her ideas, her philosophy resonated with me more because her writing not only came across as realistic but practical as well as something I could picture in my mind’s eye. Because folks at the end of the day life is not always a Mills and boons story and we need to get real ya. That is what is the beauty of her writing. Simple, relatable yet elegant and profound from the heart.
Take any character from one of her books. It has been portrayed true to the actuality of what transpires in our daily lives. Be it the female protagonists who are busy trying to figure out the balance of the so-called imposed societal systems, trying to juggle familial as well as personal pressures, or even the male ones who have another story to put forward. Author Venuka Goyal has ensured that each and every character resonates with the woman as well as the man of today, diabolically exploring the sensitive interpersonal equations they share, the qualms and struggles they face, the fears they harbour, the tough exteriors they put up and the vulnerability within. Still, at the end of it all, they take a chance, giving the newfound relation enough nurturing time, space to grow, sometimes consciously, sometimes without realizing it. Realistic as well as highly relatable, if truth be told. A true Valentine’s day reading bucket if you ask me. Do check out the links to these wonderful books below.
On the other hand, I always feel, Love has been a tricky business. True, you fall headlong in it but hey, once you do it is an absolute roller coaster of a ride. Be it love or arranged marriage is one facet of life that is as indispensable as it is tricky. Well, tricky coz hey not all are lucky and some go the true roulette way-Arranged marriage.
Being in February, touted to be the month of love we thought let’s explore the true ergonomics of this wonderful emotion as well as those of arranged marriages.
So, tell me, something people. Do you believe in arranged marriages?
Surprised I popped this question na, that too on Valentine’s day, when the whole world celebrates and basks in the chasms of finding true love, your soul mate, hmm and all the mushy cutie stuff?
Well, my answer – Arranged Marriages, why not?? Agreed we do not know the person. But yaar, waise bhi ek zindagi toh kam hi padh jaati hai kisiko pehchaan ne ke liye. On top of it an arranged marriage, I feel, has its own charms. Everything will be absolutely fresh, lovey-dovey after marriage, not to mention the kind of delicate care and attention you shall give your partner, the leverage and understanding you will provide, arising out of the fact that you guys being new to each other, want to give your best to this new relationship.
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Marriage, which is touted to be Pandora’s box, is indeed one, where I feel it is extremely important to first put something in the box and later on the plan at retrieving something. A very wise person once told me- The true essence of a happy marriage lies in the 3 D’s-Dedication, deliberation and deep contentment. Dedication-towards making your relationship as smooth as you can by giving each other respect, love, care and space. Deliberation aka a careful consideration before taking any decision – small or big in life, jointly. Deep contentment-coz hey contentment is the key as nobody is perfect and you gotta make the best of what you got, with each other, for each other in this lifetime.
So, these were some of my musings for you guys on this beautiful day of love. Stay safe and have a fabulous day today and don’t forget to tune in every day for your daily dose of book recommendations, travel, entertainment as well as lifestyle.
So do tell me how did you like the article about The Ergonomics Of Arranged Marriages This Valentine’s Day Through Author Venuka Goyal’s Writing
Till then Ciao and pyaar kar oh ho ho pyaar kar!!
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.
Tags: So do tell me how did you like the article about The Ergonomics Of Arranged Marriages This Valentine’s Day Through Author Venuka Goyal’s Writing
This battle between love and arranged will go on.. If two adults love each other they should be allowed to marry. In an arranged marriage if both are willing only then it should go forward. IN the past the couple used to compromise, sacrifice and support each other but these days all these have flown out of the window.The essence of the theme is good but I couldn’t make out which was the book and which real.
Well, I had a Arranged Marriage so yes, I believe in it. Thanks for introducing us to a new Author. Shall check out her books.
Well this topic is well for disscussion, I had a tytpical arranged marriage and happy, but yes as you said it would be all fresh and for the first time. knowing things about my partner would be great.
I love her books. especially her writing style.
Being our true self with each other is really required in any relationship.I could relate too with the author, thanx for this realistic post on live and arrange marraiges. Thank you for the romantic books in the month of love.
Quite a debatable topic this one. But for me, it is to each his own. One thing though, I was a little confused about some parts of the post, whether you were sharing the writer’s thoughts or your own… I couldn’t make out
I believe any marriage requires trust and understanding, so with this arrange marriage turns into love and love marriage mein love hota rehta hai 🤣
I loved the way you reviewd the book, the words are casual yet heart touchy. I would definately give it a read.
Thank you for your encouraging feedback.
Arranged marriages are more fun and thrilling than they’re given credit for and I’ve had one too. These books seem relatable and a fun read.
Agree with you ya.100%
I had an arrange marriage. I believe in them but I don’t have anything against love marriages. As long as the couple is happy, that is important.
True, happiness of the couple matters in the end.
Interesting post. We have so many books on romance but this is different. Sounds very interesting.
Yes, this is different yet interesting.
So true. Rarely do books and movies explore arraigned marriages. As for the preference, to each his/own. I haven’t read any books by the author, will check them out.
Yes, not too many movies on arranged marriages ya.
Be it a love match or an arranged one, love and respect are very important to make the relationship work. I know some of my friends who have had arranged marriages and have such a beautiful relationship with their partner. I also know of friends who were ‘madly in love’ and have destroyed each other.
Agree love and respect are pivotal ya.
I don’t want to get into which is better arranged for love, it all depends on partners understanding and commitment. Loved the plot of this book ,would love to give it a read.
Sure, please do give it a read.
I am in a love marriage and we have been together for 15 years now so for me the idea of arranged marriage feels a bit uncomfortable. After marriage you look for understanding and support from your partner as you entering into a new phase even though you are in a love marriage there many things that you find out about each other after marriage and this is just my opinion that if you already know each from before it becomes a little easier to adjust to the new lifestyle and changes. But I am sure evn arranged marriage has its own charm.
Yes, I agree both have their own pros and cons.
The age old war, love vs arranged. Guess both have their pros and cons Its been an arranged marriage for me, 15 years and the love keeps growing each year along with hate, fights and what not 😉
You are very lucky then I would say to experience it all.
I’m not a fan of the concept of arranged marriages but meeting someone via family or friends is akin to tinder in some ways with more screening 🙂 so to each their own, but I am a strong proponent of choosing for yourself be it love or arranged
Very well put ya, especially that tinder with more screening 🙂
These books are very interesting. Love ans arranged marriages both have their own charms though. Because we cannot have one as winner. I’m checking out these books
True that is ya.
Love or arranged, both kind of marriages have their own challenges. At the end of the day it depends on commitment and integrity. Liked the author’s take and your take on the topic.
Thank you so much for your feedback and appreciation.
I believe everyone has their own way of thinking. But yes the author sounds good. I’ll check out her book.
Sure, please do check it out.
The age old battle between love & arranged marriages. Personally, the concept of arranged marriages is so cute!
Yes, agree it is indeed an age old battle ya.
Ofcourse Arranged Marriage, I personally see more pros in Arranged marriages, and compromises has to be done in love marriages too and sometimes they take each other too granted and loose the charm. In Arranged marriages it is comparatively less. Also any relationship needs something exciting, so just by adding an exciting element once in a while all things looks fresh again, well I do so and it works.
I gonna like get these books soon, I somehow feel, I will like them😊
You will surely like as they explore the dynamics of arranged marriages in a very warm and relatable manner.
Mine was a love marriage and I cannot even think of marrying someone without spending time with them but still I would say that both have their pros and cons
Agree with you completely ya.
I also had an arranged marriage. I will sure read this book.
you are going to fall in love with her writing style
Do please read it. You are going to love it.
Do read, you shall surely relate to it.
These books sounds very interesting. Mine is love marriage so can’t say much about arranged one. Interesting article.
Thanks for your feedback.
It all depends how you face the challenges of life. Ups n downs in both the cases !!