Our matriarchs had an interesting advantage over today’s western women. Matriarchs didn’t begin their marriage with love. Instead, they were taught how to love. They entered marriage with an earnest determination to grow a love that would sustain their marriage for a lifetime.Michael Ben Zehabe
Indeed, the yesteryear philosophy of living through and expounding on daily life relationships was another story if truth be told. It never was a smooth, easy ride. In fact, there was a lot of effort involved, from both ends because, hey when has it ever been easy to develop chemistry and rapport with someone who is not acquainted with you.
Technically speaking, Indian value systems have always encouraged and advocated arranged marriages over love. In fact, statistically speaking 93% of marriages in India account for arranged, with the couple getting to know each other and acquainted with them after they tie the nuptials. Call it societal beliefs or parental discretion, arranged marriages are the practice followed here in our country. In fact, what is funny is the fact that love marriages, which account for only about 7 to 10% of the total are actually the ones which are more publicized, be it movies, books or any other place. Bhai human books hi le lo, they also almost always speak of love and love marriages. Somehow, not many writers seem to be exploring this engrained system of pour society which is actually one of the most followed ones. Nevertheless, Author Venuka Goyal, through her books, her writing, has managed to not only shed light on this one but explored the dynamics of this relationship realistically. To put across something beautifully, whilst keeping the current realistic scenario in mind is tricky, yet Venuka has done so and how!!
Waise books ki baat karein toh I recently read her books, who according to me has caught on to this subject beautifully. Arranged marriages form the core crux of the plots in all 3 of her titles namely – Why Not, On The Bright Side and her latest You Are Stuck With Me for life explore the dynamics of this interpersonal relationship in a modern yet logical and relatable way. Through her stories, Venuka here has very diligently pointed out that whether it be pre or post an arranged marriage, a couple can truly achieve supreme compatibility and mutual love and understanding through choosing to be their true self to each other, stripping away of any inhibitions they might choose to harbor for the other. She also explores the individualistic point of view of modern-day couples who are not very keen on being tied down but want to give it a try. Indeed, life is all about playing the roulette, ain’t it? Her ideas, her philosophy resonated with me more because her writing not only came across as realistic but practical as well as something I could picture in my mind’s eye. Because folks at the end of the day life is not always a Mills and boons story and we need to get real ya. That is what is the beauty of her writing. Simple, relatable yet elegant and profound from the heart.
Take any character from one of her books. It has been portrayed true to the actuality of what transpires in our daily lives. Be it the female protagonists who are busy trying to figure out the balance of the so-called imposed societal systems, trying to juggle familial as well as personal pressures, or even the male ones who have another story to put forward. Author Venuka Goyal has ensured that each and every character resonates with the woman as well as the man of today, diabolically exploring the sensitive interpersonal equations they share, the qualms and struggles they face, the fears they harbour, the tough exteriors they put up and the vulnerability within. Still, at the end of it all, they take a chance, giving the newfound relation enough nurturing time, space to grow, sometimes consciously, sometimes without realizing it. Realistic as well as highly relatable, if truth be told. A true Valentine’s day reading bucket if you ask me. Do check out the links to these wonderful books below.
On the other hand, I always feel, Love has been a tricky business. True, you fall headlong in it but hey, once you do it is an absolute roller coaster of a ride. Be it love or arranged marriage is one facet of life that is as indispensable as it is tricky. Well, tricky coz hey not all are lucky and some go the true roulette way-Arranged marriage.
Being in February, touted to be the month of love we thought let’s explore the true ergonomics of this wonderful emotion as well as those of arranged marriages.
So, tell me, something people. Do you believe in arranged marriages?
Surprised I popped this question na, that too on Valentine’s day, when the whole world celebrates and basks in the chasms of finding true love, your soul mate, hmm and all the mushy cutie stuff?
Well, my answer – Arranged Marriages, why not?? Agreed we do not know the person. But yaar, waise bhi ek zindagi toh kam hi padh jaati hai kisiko pehchaan ne ke liye. On top of it an arranged marriage, I feel, has its own charms. Everything will be absolutely fresh, lovey-dovey after marriage, not to mention the kind of delicate care and attention you shall give your partner, the leverage and understanding you will provide, arising out of the fact that you guys being new to each other, want to give your best to this new relationship.
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Marriage, which is touted to be Pandora’s box, is indeed one, where I feel it is extremely important to first put something in the box and later on the plan at retrieving something. A very wise person once told me- The true essence of a happy marriage lies in the 3 D’s-Dedication, deliberation and deep contentment. Dedication-towards making your relationship as smooth as you can by giving each other respect, love, care and space. Deliberation aka a careful consideration before taking any decision – small or big in life, jointly. Deep contentment-coz hey contentment is the key as nobody is perfect and you gotta make the best of what you got, with each other, for each other in this lifetime.
So, these were some of my musings for you guys on this beautiful day of love. Stay safe and have a fabulous day today and don’t forget to tune in every day for your daily dose of book recommendations, travel, entertainment as well as lifestyle.
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Till then Ciao and pyaar kar oh ho ho pyaar kar!!
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